My Personal Experience of Getting Married Young

I was twenty when my husband proposed to me. We had been together for around eight months. He was finishing his post-graduate diploma and I was earning minimum wage in a desk job. We lived with our propspective parents which meant we actually spent most nights together however at eachothers houses.

Knowing we had no home to call ours and no means at that time to begin building a nest we knew it would be a long engagement. Three and a half years later we had our own place, good jobs and a good  life so we got married.

I have read many many articles that speak strongly about the fact that a woman shouldn't feel the need to get married to be a success. I agree with this stance whole-heartedly. No person whether male or female should be judged by their marital status. When we finally set a date however, all I was told was that I was too young to get married and that I should be waiting. This annoyed me greatly. If we commend a woman for not getting married then why can we commend a woman for getting married?

This issue isn't clear cut though. There are many factors at play here. Not only is the marriage thing an issue but also the question of taking my husband's name. I did by the way, because I liked my husband's surname and because I didn't feel any connection to my maiden name. This was a family name shared with my mum, which is of course a connection but I didn't speak to the family it came from. I didn't feel I had any obligation to protect the name.

Marriage provides many different things. It provides some security, a forever feeling. It is nice to know that I have someone whom I share a deep connection with. 

The women who choose not to get married but share their lives with or without partners are strong people. Some of our society does look upon unmarried people are "failures". But those strong women should not look down on their fellow women who choose to marry and tell them not to. I sometimes find that feminisim can sometimes fail in friendships between women. We have to choice to marry, to divorce, to not have children or to have children. We should rejoice in the fact that I had a choice as to whether I took my husbands name unlike a hundred or so years ago where I would have had no choice whatsoever.

Best Wishes

xox