The General Election - my verdict

I haven’t written in a while. Term time will do that. The fine balance of working and studying.

Term is nearly over for the summer and the General Election has taken place and the results were horrifying. The Conservatives won a Majority. No poll had predicted, even the Tories did not predict it. As I sat watching the exit polls coming in my heart sank through the floor. My hope faded, only temporarily as it will be found and returned to its owner soon, and my anger began. As if the country had not enough the electorate wanted five more years of pain and suffering. BDSM party goers, the lot of them.

There are people blaming the SNP. I don’t blame the SNP. I have a soft spot for Nicola Sturgeon. I don’t want independence. I am an idealist who feels that unification is best as opposed to splitting into different parts. Ultimately though who are we to tell the Scottish, the Welsh or the Northern Irish how they should vote or feel about Westminster? My only issue with Scottish independence is the idea that if Scotland are fine then that is the main thing. The North of England are just as hard hit by the cuts and feel what Scotland feel. We should come together not split apart. This is after all only my humble opinion as I have never lived anywhere outside of England.

Ed Miliband was not to fault either. He was a strong man, maybe not a natural leader but certainly had courage of his convictions and the right ideas. Unfortunately he was trying to bring the Labour party to back whence it came in an ideological sense which didn’t seem to go down well. There are now calls for the Labour party to submit further to the centre than where it lies now.

So what led to the Tories coming to power and defying all odds?

Despite Ed Miliband not being at fault, the Labour party did not seek to dispel the idea that they were not to blame for the financial crash. This has been accepted by many as a financial crisis and yet the Labour party still get wacked round the head every time it comes up in conversation. Before the recession, caused by the fall of Lehman Brothers in America which sent shock waves through the globalised economy, our deficit and spending were about as high as you’d expect. When recession hit this caused businesses to liquidate therefore making people redundant and therefore causing people to lose their homes. This caused overspending, not the government itself. I am not a fan of New Labour but this is something they needed to fight back on.

Scottish Independence, whether you agreed or not, Labour and the Conservatives provided a united front who did nothing to help in Labour’s image in Scotland. The people of Scotland wanted change one way or another and Labour did nothing to present they could pursue this change in their ‘No’ campaign. 

The argument always came back to Ed Miliband and his image. The right wing press love the fact he couldn’t eat a bacon sandwich and tended to trip over a lot. Since when has this ever been important in politics? It is ridiculous that this is how we judge our politicians in the mainstream media. Ed Miliband genuinely wanted to do something different but the sandwich let him down or rather the media did. There were attempts to humanise this accident which lets face it has happened to the best of us, but unfortunately image was a problem. It shouldn’t be but it was made an issue.

In addition to this the Tories spoke the right language. People are scared and the landscape at the moment is fear. Recessions have been an occurrence every decade or so but this past one was the worst and it made people uncertain about their future. They guaranteed more of the same and it comes back to this idea of if me and mine are fine then screw everyone else. This is the issue we face now, we see this is in our dealing homelessness, the environment and climate change, immigration and welfare. As a child we are told to leave something as we found it. By this virtue we will not leave the Earth as we found it. If we are not careful we will see the end of the NHS, schools run by the local councils for local children, Human Rights Bill and an environment where we’ve plundered all of its resources with our children cleaning up the mess. 

A letter to my fifteen year old self: hope

“Dear Jade

You’re just turning fifteen. The end is in sight. In one year you will be able begin forming your own destiny as an adult and no one will be able to stop you. 

At this point in time you are alone. You are desperately alone. You live for the two evenings a week where you can feel something at a film club in Launceston. There are many cool people and there is a boy whom you quite like but nothing will happen with him. Instead you’ll date the boy who is your closest friend at this point. This relationship won’t last, life moves on but he will be dear to you and you will be dear to him. 

The two evenings at the film club though feel like they give you purpose. The rest of the time you spend alone in your room, walking the dogs or with other people but feeling detached and never really involved. There is a force in your life in the form of a guardian. He tells you he loves you like a daughter and then tells you you’re a failure in life. You believe him for a time but eventually you’ll learn that everything is not as it seems. 

Over the past few years my little dove, you have been suffering from depression. Teenage years are hard enough without the added bonus of divorced parents, megalomanic guardian and confidence issues which leaves you with a crippling fear of kids your own age. You’ve run away once but didn’t get far and have received a telling off which will ensure you don’t do it again. This cry for help goes largely unnoticed. Your distant father doesn’t bat an eyelid. Every night you go to bed you wonder what tomorrow will bring. This optimism that drives you with hope that one day it will get better. It does get better but you’ll have a tough crawl up hill first. Sorry about this but our life has not been easy.

I remember one point where we were walking along the road side. We hadn’t washed our hair in days, we were around thirteen maybe fourteen at this point and we didn’t like to be noticed. Large coat against the wind accompanied by tracksuit bottoms and expensive trainers. Our trainers were always expensive even if the rest out of clothing wasn’t. In the distance of Upper Fore Street in Bodmin we saw a truck driving towards us. In that moment we wondered if it would hurt to throw ourself underneath this truck. Would it kill us instantly? We stop by the road and wait for it as it drives towards us. We think, it could all be over and we would go to sleep. A thought creeps into our mind telling us that no, it will get better. Our pain will cease and our scars will heal. We will keep going and we will not let him win.

We are told things a child should not be told. We struggle with these secrets and the gravity of the situation. This is not taken seriously. These secrets affect those closest to us and change everything forever. 

Our guardian is unkind. We are told at the tender age of thirteen that we loved but not liked. That we will never amount to much. We smell. We are ugly. We are a failure. We are not allowed to be in the same room as him. We are the devil. We are manipulative. We don’t matter. We have got to shut up. We are wrong. We cannot eat that because it is too good for us. We cannot catch watch TV because we’ve been bad. We need to stay in our room for the next few days to think about what we have done. We are a person only a parent could love. We are lazy. We lack motivation. 

This preys on our mind and the little voice in our head takes on a male tone over and over again we look into the mirror wanting to disappear. We want it to be all ok. The grey clouds rumble ahead and we cannot see the light but we know its there.

We have hope. So you should because I will let you into a secret. It does get better. We win. You, my little ombre, will find your feet. It takes a little while. You make some bad decisions and you have to go through several reincarnations before you find out who you are. When you do though it falls into place. We become stubborn because we know that where we are now has taken everything we’ve got.

It took everything we had to keep walking when we could have tried to end it. It took everything to not pick up the bottle of aspirins in the bathroom. He was just a man but you are so much more.

You won.

Yours,

Your future self.”

I have written this letter for several reasons. Today is International Women’s Day. Today we thank our sisters who gave up everything for our freedom and look to the future to see where we need to go next. But every battle is personal. Collectively we need the move forward and embrace gender equality but every single one of us pursues our own goals. We must overcome our own obstacles but we must support each other in doing that.

In my life I can think of a handful of people who inspired me to drive forward. When I was fifteen though, it was the leader of the film club Krystyna. She is a remarkable woman to whom I owe a lot. I have sadly never been able to give anything back personally to her despite the enormity of what she gave me and therefore I hope instead that one day I’ll be able to repay her by being there for someone else who needs it. 

Secondly as part of our personal battles we seek to win what is in our mind can be one of the hardest. Sometimes you just cannot switch the “TV” off. Sometimes it just ticks away in your mind and you cannot get away. It is several years since I have plunged the depths of the dark pool of depression but I will never forget the feeling of helplessness and darkness that can overshadow everything you do. Someone telling you to “smile” just won’t cut it.

This moment right here is a moment where I am pausing and looking back. Scars do heal over time but our experiences shape us into who we are. We never forget but we can learn. 

This hope which kept me going through my teenage years is what fuels me now. This is why I believe in change and I have faith in the human race. Hope keeps us ticking over. No one will ever convince me this is just the way it is and nothing can change. If I believed that I wouldn’t be here now.

Much love. 

That Sppech: Natalie Bennett and the LBC

Yesterday Natalie Bennett of the Green Party gave a speech on LBC (Leading Britain’s Conversation). This is a radio station which has cut through UKIP’s arguments as well as Nick Clegg’s. The LBC has never really held back and so it shouldn’t.

I watched Natalie Bennett on the Sunday Politics show several weeks ago and I was not impressed by her responses. Even as a Green supporter I didn’t find her responses polished or concise. Answers like I give my boss at work when I am trying to avoid a telling off. They were almost a run around. Natalie Bennett doesn’t seem to have the personality or the eloquence that is seen in most party leaders.

Nigel Farage is seen as an anti-politics leader who provides fresh and honest answers to questions he is asked. He is perhaps more polished than Natalie Bennett but still he harbours points and sometimes trips over his own tongue. He also chairs a party which is full of scandal and double standards. Yet people still support him in their droves. 

Ultimately right wing Nigel Farage has not yet said a word in which I agree whereas Natalie Bennett has. She is not polished and I am not wholly confident in her as a leader of the Green Party however maybe she is the yin to Nigel Farage’s yang. She provides the approach to politics which is not refined and pre-written but the spur of the moment and honest. The Green Party has only been catapulted into the limelight in the last six months and it is a learning process for the party. 

I believe the Green Party will not secure more than a few seats in May but maybe this is the start of a journey where in the foreseeable future we will see this left wing party start to really make waves. If UKIP can with their messages of hate then surely the Green Party can with their messages of equality and virtue.

Women: Children and having it all

Over the weekend I read an article in the Huffington Post which was about the idea of this never-ending journey of perfection that as a woman we must meander along through constantly feeling rejection and failure. Some of the author’s points I could understand but the article was largely a failure judging by the Facebook comments. But this got me thinking about the ideal woman and the question which swirls around in my head, can we have it all?

If you have read any of my previous posts or the “About me” section you will note that I am married. Woo hoo. I got married in September last year and so I believe the term would be newly-married (I think you get that for the first year). It was several weeks after the big day, once we had gotten back from the honeymoon and rid ourselves of those final grains of sand from in between our toes when it hit me. I am married. This revelation was then followed by the succeeding six months of worry about kids. 

I want to make it clear. I am currently twenty three so quite young to be married by modern standards. Therefore no one and I repeat no one has asked the question “so when will we hear the pitter patter of tiny feet?”. There has been the odd comment such as “oh your children will be gorgeous” or “just you wait until you have kids.” Nothing which constitutes anyone suggesting that now is the time. This includes my husband. Not one word.

So why am I worried? I think it comes down to three things:

Firstly, it is a fact that having children will change my position within the workplace and within society as a whole far more when I become a mother than it will my husbands. Legislation has of course made the burden easier but society still expects the mother to be the one to be the child’s primary care giver. Women can be scorned by other women if they choose to return to work earlier than normal too. It comes from both sides.

Secondly, I get really excited when I speak to a successful working mother. I think, “yippee” maybe she will tell me the Holy Grail of having it all. Maybe this stranger in Tesco’s holds the key. Maybe this mutual friend or this colleague will be able to tell me exactly what I need to do. Nope. Nada. Zip. They all said the same thing, women cannot have it all. There is a sacrifice that must be made, you can either be a wonderful mother but work very few hours or you can be a bad mother but be a kick ass career woman. In fact many who I have spoken to in the past year or so when discussing this topic voice their regrets over having gone back to work or advises me to stay clear of work all together.

And then finally, last but not least, the media. The media has in the past stigmatised working mothers and stay at home mothers in their fair share. Articles much like this one talk about the issue. Self help books, motivational movies (I still maintain The Women is one of the best girl power films there is) and various other avenues all talk about women doing it all and having it all. But none of this mediums seem to give a concrete answer because how can you? Everyone's circumstances are unique and no two families are the same. 

None of which address the issues at hand. We are told to strive for certain things otherwise we are a failure. That goes for women and men but for women ‘having it all’ is just another thing we must try and do. But what if someone doesn’t want and whose greatest need, her choice is to stay at home and look after her beautiful children? Or go to work and employ the services of a nanny or childminder (whose costs are astronomical and therefore once you’ve finished at the day job you may need a second job just to pick up the bill!). We should try not to judge ourselves on others. The only thing we can do is the best by the people we love and the best for ourselves as well. Ultimately this modern high tech society we currently live in is only a recent development and we are all still trying to find our way.

I do want children. This goes without saying. This will not happen in the near future. With a full time job and part time degree it would be stupid to add a child into the mix. But I am sure when we do have our children we will muddle through. Like every parent does. 

Humans are essentially good - until it isn't their problem.

Humans are essentially good people. There I made a statement. This statement is based upon the fact that most humans are capable of love. We love our parents, our children, our siblings, our friends and our animals. We let people go in front of us if they have a few items in the supermarket and tip when eating out at restaurants. Most people are good people.

This being said I am concerned by how narrow-minded our love is. We feel the need to protect only ‘me and mine’. When the Rotherham Sex Abuse scandal hit the headlines people were up in arms because these were our children. It was a local plight. No thought however is given to the schoolgirls still missing kidnapped by Boko Haram or the thousands of women and female held captive by IS. These attacks on humans are in other countries to people we don’t know and probably will never know. What happened in Rotherham should never have happened and my thoughts are with the victims but our thoughts should also go further a field.

The Western culture appears to really approve of this one minded viewpoint. So long as we are fine then we don’t mind what is going on in other countries. The problem with this is that to enact change it often requires a united front. 

These set of values can be seen throughout our society. The glass ceiling feminists fighting for better representation in boardrooms and government sometimes forget that they are usually already middle class and well-connected. Sometimes to plight of the single working mother is unheard and forgotten as she struggles to make ends meet. 

It scares me how much people use almost tunnel vision to approach subjects which does have real impact on our economy and maybe even our safety. There is a very real concern that the current crisis in Ukraine could escalate. Maybe we will begin to listen and take note when the first gun is fired.

But it doesn’t even always apply for situations in other countries. Several times a year there are slaughterhouses that are “uncovered” for treating their animals cruelly despite the fact that the animal is about to have its life taken for food. Recently I was talking to someone about eggs. I made the statement I only buy free range eggs. This person couldn’t understand why I would as they were more expensive. Without being “that person” I pointed out that free range eggs were more ethical. Unfortunately in this particular conversation cheap won over ethics, at least in that persons food trolley. It was the age old argument that I always hear, “it isn’t my problem”. 

The world around us is moving and changing at an alarming rate and there are many forces greater than the one individual and his/her families. The reason for this is because globalisation means that everything matters. The low price of oil hurts the oil makers but pleases the travelling salesman. 

There is a cause and reaction to most things in this world wide economy and we should no longer bury our heads in the sand. Even if no action is taken surely being versed in the goings on around the world couldn’t hurt?

The importance of choice

The Guardian released an article today about a manifesto for women who are paired with Isis fighters. Women should be in the home to serve their husbands and children. It supposedly talks against females being in the workplace being westernised and evil.

In some respects these men are worshipping the females in their lives by saving them from the harshness of the workplace or of the catcalling on the street. In some ways I can even begin to understand this way of thinking.

However and it is a big however, countless women and men haven’t fought for equality for decades for nothing. If a woman or man wants to stay home and look after the children then there should be no one judging them for doing so. On the other hand if the same woman or man wants to return to work following the birth of their children then we shouldn’t have a problem for this either. 

The issue with these manifestos is that is takes away choice. I can understand that a person will do everything they can to protect their husbands or wives from the issues of daily lives. When a client has been shouting at me at work my husband doesn’t like it but at no point would he say I shouldn’t do my job. I am a 21st century woman who wants to follow in the footsteps of countless women before her by trying to enact change.

Protection of your loved ones whilst ever harm will not be done to them cannot prevent them from their choices. 

This way of thinking is of course limited to a small number of people in the world compared to the overall population. Given the billions which exist of this planet I do doubt that this way of thinking will ever take hold on a large scale. 

I like my liberty and I like my choice. I am that person who when someone says don’t do it, I do it (apart from jumping from a building, I am not stupid). Rightly or wrongly we should protect our ability to walk, talk, work and be stupid for stupid’s sake. I am not a huge fan of religion but if people want to worship the grant banana in the sky they can, but don’t expect me to. 

Charity - doing what we can

 Last night me, my husband and my mother-in-law went to the theatre to see an adaptation of Harper Lee’s ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’. This was a wonderful production which was very enjoyable even if it leaves you slightly miffed about the human race and its history. We left the theatre to go back to the car where we passed a homeless man.

This man was sat outside the theatre in freezing temperatures with no where to go. My husband passed me some change to pass to him which I did. My mother-in-law got some money out also which my husband passed to him at which point the homeless man said to him “I am sorry I just can’t get a job.” In that moment my heart broke. I am sorry I can’t do more.

This gentleman had no where else to go and was braving the harsh cold and the drunken crowds. I walked away with tears streaming down my face. 

Last weekend me and my husband were sitting in a restaurant and several tables away there sat three people. These extremely well-dressed people with their Mercedes keys placed strategically on the table with the logo pointing up. These three people were discussing rather loudly that they don’t give to charity because they were large corporations whose bosses just fleeced the charitable coffers anyway. Besides why did the charities need money to save the animals or homeless. 

My point of view is this. I am very fortunate so I try and give a little back. I would do more if I could. But then, I could really I suppose. If I gave up my spare time I could hand out sandwiches to the homeless. I could give up my home and move to a 3rd world country to fight disease or hunger. Why do I do this?

I am wholly tied up in my 1st world capitalist world with my work, my studies and my books. To keep up with the life I enjoy I don’t have the time to do anything other donating on a monthly basis and give money or food to the homeless when I can.

I feel like I can enact change, maybe not on a large scale but change no the less. I want to do this through policy and speaking to people. I would like to speak my mind and be the change I want to see in the world. And I suppose this is it. 

We can only do what we can at any given time.