Page 3 - Good or Bad?

Today is a landmark day, Page 3 is no more. I hold many feminist views; equal pay, equal opportunities, freedom from sexual violence and harassment. I defend victims of rape in conversations because the question still exists “well what was she wearing?”

I have never form an opinion on Page 3 models though. I despise The Sun news paper and its leader. I believe that paper skews facts and figures for its own agenda and if we continued to listen to that and The Daily Mail we could have a situation prophesised by Enoch Power where “blood will run through the streets”. But Page 3 models, I neither hated nor liked the idea. And here is why:

My argument comes down to this. Rita Ora appeared on the BBC One show last week wearing a cream suit which showed a good amount of skin. Even my first thought was, wow, that is a lot of skin for a programme aired at seven o’clock but this got me thinking. As people we expect a woman to dress accordingly and if these standards are not met some judgment is placed on the head of this woman.

So if Rita Ora or Helen from Hackney wants to bear themselves it should be their choice to do so. Woman can have the freedom to expose themselves if they should feel the need. They should not however, ever feel pressured to expose themselves. This would be assault. For example I am given to understand that Zoo and Nuts used to host competitions in nightclubs where drunken girls could “audition” to be in the magazines. Whilst I am not saying these women were forced into this situations there certainly seems to be a culture on preying on the venerable, ie drunken people. 

Page 3 was a tradition in The Sun and compared to the images one can find if you input a few choice words into Google it was very tame. It probably was about time to retire the concept. 

What are we left with? Well adult pornography would be one. Again this is something I don’t necessary have an issue with providing the actors are consenting adults. The issue I have with pornography is that we live in a country which has limited sex education. Therefore young boys and girls in their teenage years use this as almost a point of reference for how they and they sexual experience measure up. This can cause girls and boys to do things they are not ready for and completely ruin their ideas of sex leaving them feeling used. 

Another issue facing us is that women in adverts and magazines are airbrushed leaving us lesser mortals feeling more than just disheartened when trying to compare ourselves. Perhaps we should demand magazine and adverts carry disclosures informing us all that actually these images are fake and not true depictions. 

Our society is full of double standards. Men can be as prolific as they want in their conquests but a woman is seen as somewhat lesser if they have racked up a few sexual partners. Society wants women to be virginal yet available. Men need to be available and not virginal. We categorize people into boxes and when we cannot categorize we can almost choose to ignore the person completely as to not rock the metaphysical boat. 

In Neolithic times the sight of a naked person would not have been a cause for alarm. We have moved on since then to the point now where if Rita Ora wears a top that is judged to be too revealing for the time of days the BBC receives several complaints. They were her breasts. There is a large proportion of the population that has been breast fed (of course that is another story altogether that I am not going to get into). 

Page 3 was not the worst thing in the world but I can’t say I am sad to see its demise. I don’t really have many feelings. But I certainly don’t think that consenting people showing their skin is something to hate. Page 3 was perhaps more real in terms of body image than most magazines.

Religious Rock 'N' Roll

On Friday last week I attended a gig in Sheffield, Slipknot and Korn. On entering the arena’s car park I happened upon several people preaching and giving out leaflets which essentially informed me that rock ‘n’ roll deaths including Freddie Mercury’s were a product of sin associated with rock ‘n’ roll. Damning the lustful and greed lifestyle that our beloved musicians fall into and that when taking this type of music into my life I should get ready to face the consequences when meeting my maker.

Now I had been at work all week, I was designated driver and over tired. I was looking forward to spending an evening seeing some live bands whose music I enjoy. So when I am handed these leaflets I thought several things.

Firstly it names Freddie Mercury has a victim of rock ‘n’ roll. I would not agree. The great Freddie Mercury died because he contracted a disease which at the time did not have a method of management which would have allowed the great man to live longer. People who contract AIDs now are able to live better lives. Obviously I am not missing the real reason why these people are listing him as a sinner (sexuality) but quite frankly I think it is distasteful and wrong he be listed next to people that did die through drug and alcohol related incidents. He was a remarkable man and he didn’t hurt anyone.

Many have died through drug and alcohol related deaths and it is extremely sad this be the case. Unfortunately many of our revered musicians are tortured souls and therefore feel they need to turn to substances to help ease their pain whether mental or physical. But it comes down to choice. As long as you’re not hurting another unfortunately we can do what we like with our own bodies. Even if this does mean putting harmful chemicals in your body.

Furthermore this lust the leaflet talked about is a funny thing. People have sex. Most people like sex. Sex is sex. It is something which between two people who love one another is scared and special. But hey, if you want to have sex with someone you don’t love, who gives a fuck? As long as they are consenting does it really matter?

I don’t mind faith. I am fascinated by it. I have faith. Not in a god or particular religion. I have faith in the world. I have faith that one day, even if that day is not today, everything is going to be fine. We have hate in this world but we have love. People have the ability of giving out a lot of love. I do not need a god to give me that but I understand if there are some who need that to help them.

But don’t interrupt my Friday night to inform me that I shall face the consequences of listening to metal music. I am married and faithful. I don’t take drugs. I do drink but who doesn’t? But even if I did have rampant sex every Saturday night with a stranger snorting cocaine off his butt cheeks, does it matter to anyone but me, the individual involved and the laws of the land? It wouldn’t matter to a god especially when that god doesn’t even exist.

The beauty about the country we inhabit is that we have a certain amount of freedom. Not endless obviously otherwise it’d be chaos. But enough to keep things interesting. I am critical of some laws but in the grand scheme of things England is doing fine. We have the freedom to seek solace in whatever religion we see fit.

There are only a handful of religions that will respect me despite my gender. Paganism is a wonderful religion for this fact. In Paganism and Wiccan the female gender are seen as sacred as we are a giver of life. The goddess in some depictions are seen as a shapely women with large hips in order that they can give birth to life. The goddess is seen in some opinions as a stronger deity however both male and female must exist equally together in order for life to keep on being produced.

Many mainstream religions will seek to ensure that I am a “good girl” full of chastity and virtue. They would seek to silence me for I am only the server of my father, then my husband and then my sons. I am sorry I shall not be put in a corner and I shall damn well listen to whatever music I want despite its image of being unclean, lustful and sinful.

So now you religious nuts, next time I want to go and listen to a band I don’t want to see you. I hear Marilyn Manson may do some dates in England this year; you’d better not be there otherwise I will inform you kindly and politely I worship the devil.

Weight: Part Two: Standing on the scales for the first time in months

In the office is appears everyone is looking to lose weight. Most likely New Year Resolutions which will either be broken or kept, we will see. Today one of my colleagues brought in some scales. Having not stepped on any since Summer last year I thought why not? I knew I had put on weight. Trousers, dresses and jumpers had become in the past three months tighter and more prone to ride up or feel uncomfortable. I guessed at half a stone approximately.

As I stepped on those scales and measured myself, the little digital dials of death counting up, the blood drained from my face. I was over ten stone, ten stone six to be exact. I am five ft two, quickly calculating in my head this now made me overweight if you believe the BMI counters. My colleague witnessed a minor meltdown in the seconds that proceeded this monumental revelation. For the first time in my life I had surpassed ten stone. Growing up in my mid-teens I was horrified if I crept over nine stone let along be ten stone six. My colleagues lovingly said to me I don't look overweight and I am still very petite but still, this confirmed all of my worst nightmares. The horrible thoughts in my brain which had been going round and round in my head for the past three months as I saw the weight creep on. I am fat.

 These past posts about weight issues show what my mind is really thinking. Bollocks. How did I let this happen? I don't eat unwell, cook everything from scratch. So maybe I drink one too many glasses of wine and don't exercise but surely that can't be it? So upon my arrival home, in the worlds worst mood, I went for a run and then set to reading everything I could about healthy diets, gym memberships and slimming world deals. Then it hit me, there are so many magical potions, pills and programs to enable the average person lose weight how was I supposed to select the right one for me? All of these people preaching they have the right answers. Well who is right?

This multimillion pound industry making women like me who ordinarily couldn't give a shit doubt themselves beyond all measure. My confidence has slipped over the past year admittedly but self-loathing, no, this is recent. This has happened in the last three months as I realised that I was gaining weight and that "perfect" body image was slowly slipping away. People are judged on their appearance, male and female. How could I sit idly by whilst my image was being ripped to shreds by strangers in the street. But it all doesn't matter does it?

Yes, I do need to ensure that I get back under the ten stone mark, potentially back to the nine stone ball park figure. But this shouldn't be done because society dictates this of me. This should be done because I want to be healthy. Because a healthy body usually equals a healthy mind. I want to do it so I don't have to deal with as many risks to illnesses in my future life. So that I can be around for as long as possible seeing the world which I love so very much.

Tomorrow undoubtedly I will continue to surf the internet trying to establish what is the golden goose of all health programs. But I will battle the thoughts of self-loathing. I have to because otherwise society and those companies that make a fortune telling us we are not good enough will win.

Female Issues: Weight and Living Up to Societies Need for Perfection. Part One.

After sharing an article from the Guardian someone a friend commented on the post wondering if the world could change or is it filled with people who are at best narrow minded?

My response was that no, people would have thought that when slavery was being abolished and women were campaigning for their right to vote. This got me thinking about the struggle that women have had to get to the point we are today and what struggles we have left.

During the 19th century women had very little rights, almost none. They were expected to marry as well as society would allow and rear children tending to the house. Queen Victoria did nothing to aid the female cause despite being a member of only a few female rulers of England. This thought process would be echoed by Margaret Thatcher many years later. Not a champion of her own gender she believed that a woman should be an aid to her man. 

In the early part of the 20th century women succeeded in getting the right to vote but still large inequality existed. Women were still not entitled to full health care. If a woman worked she would be expected to give up her job if she got married as it was seen she would not be able to continue with her career and look after her husband at the same time. The first wave and second wave feminist groups really pushed female agendas until we see the world we live into today.

The problem is that inequality still exists now but in different forms. One of those forms (and there are many but today I am only discussing one) is the ever present societal need for women to look perfect.

Today I rid my wardrobe of clothes that no longer fit me. Since my wedding I have gained around half a stone. Not a huge amount but to be gained in three months it has made my confidence dip quite considerably. My earlier blog post about not comparing myself to others and New Year resolutions. Yeh, not working. My colleagues are still gorgeous and I feel like an elephant. It is wonderful. Trying not to hate myself as I filled a plastic bag full of clothes to be taken to the charity shop was impossible.

I have not weighed myself in a while but I estimate I am probably a few pounds over nine stone. I am five foot two. I am probably only a fraction over what is considered a healthy BMI. But this is the fattest I have ever been. Ever. Period. I look at the gorgeous faces on TV and think urgh! But what I hate most is that I hate myself hating myself.

This isn't me. This is something which exists in a society which puts female beauty ahead of her academic ability. I am reading Lena Dunham's autobiography at the moment and she writes about her being considered brave because she exposes herself and she rightly writes how Blake Lively would not be told that she is brave because she is a "Hollywood" appropriate weight. Somehow because Lena Dunham is curvy and not stick thin she is a martyr. 

I am guilty of it myself. When describing a woman we talk about her characteristics. Not her character. I often find that women are cruel about one another. How do we get past this constant chatter in the back of our heads that we are failing? If I find out I'll let you know.

Tragedy in Paris

First of all I would like to express my heart-felt sympathies to the families of the lives lost yesterday in the shooting in Paris. It is saddening to know that those people will never speak to their loved ones again. Yesterday was a truly sad day for the world.

We are seeing a huge rise at the moment in most European countries of right-wing parties and groups hell bent on “purifying” their given countries. I can certainly understand why these groups are garnering support despite not agreeing myself with their attitudes, ethos and methods. 

Religions across the world have for centuries claimed millions of lives. The Crusades, the Buddhists in Cambodia and the Second World War to name but a few not to mention the religious persecution of the Catholic’s during Elizabeth I’s rule and persecution of the Jewish throughout history. One cannot deny that all religions have claimed innocent lives throughout history. As you can see, I am not a fan of any religion.

During the latter stages of 19th century Britain we saw a rise in industry and science creating things that before people only believed God could create. We have brilliant minds paving the way for scientific thought. We as a country were enlightened. Other countries have not have this “coming of age” story which is why we now see some religions, especially Islam, fighting against modern age technology and freedom of speech. My non-God is better than your God has taken to twitter and the printing press.

For a while now the presence of God as a Methodist, Catholic, Evangelical or any other form of deity has been mocked, debated and fought against. I am sure if you asked someone who is Catholic what they think of Family Guy mocking God in the way they do they would probably say it offends them. I can understand if Muslims are offended by depictions of their prophets.

However this does not give anyone any reason to use violence to express their displeasure. Ultimately Freedom of Speech exists for a reason and journalists should not feel in danger in their own city when writing or illustrating articles that they want to. 

I sincerely hope that non-Muslim population does not meet hate with hate. This would add further fuel to an already large fire. Hate crimes would certainly not be the answer to this shooting.

Further to this I would call upon the leaders with the Islamic faith to renounce these as acts of Islam. I am sure I am not wrong when I state that most Muslims do not support this radicalisation. Some have spoken out against these but I would ask that all renounce these. Perhaps with the full indignation of the Muslim communities united this might go along way towards disassociating peaceful Islam with the radicalised individuals. 

And finally again, I wish to end on the note that I send my sympathies to the families of the lost individuals. Je Suis Charlie.

Russell Brand - voice of a nation?

Russell Brand rarely leaves my twitter and Facebook feeds these days. I do follow his posts so I realise this might be something to do with it but The Guardian and Huffington Post create many articles about the man with the crazy hair. Some feel he is evil, doing this just for the marketing value and some feel he is the the voice of the nation. 

 I have always had a soft spot for Russell Brand. At the time when he was on MTV causing havoc I lived in a house that didn't have TV. I knew nothing of this time of his life but only the time he emerged with his autobiography "My Booky Wook" which I sort of read (by sort of I read about half of it). I liked his voice, his vocabulary and his style. He wasn't a teenage crush but I certainly found the idea of him appealing. 

 Only in the past two years since his marriage split from Katy Perry has he emerged as almost a prophet. He wants to see equality in the world with corporations and their capitalist ways fail. Quite left wing in ideologies I don't believe he is wrong to want what he does, but is he going about it the right way? Firstly he doesn't believe that voting makes a difference. I can see why this point of view is largely shared. General opinion states that currently the question is do you want the Conservative Conservative, Convservative Labour or Conservative Liberal Democrats? No party at this moment in time, besides the Green Party, have left wing attitudes at heart. Unfortunately with the Green Party they are not popular enough with many having misconceptions that they only have policies for the environment. Therefore the only choice being provided is UKIP who just seizes every opportunity they can to market themselves using some ill of the world that only them and their supporters seem to think is a bad thing. 

 I digress, I think that voting is important. If no one votes, democracy falls down and the politicians will not have their actions kept in check. All of a sudden we will have an American style healthcare and have to remortgage every time we want to send our children to school, if we even have a property to remortgage because of course by this point landlords and banks will have inflated our house prices to a point only a few of us could ever dream to buy. On this day the people who didn't vote will wonder what happened. 

 I don't disagree that currently our system appears flawed however actively engaging in with the government is the only way we can stop it from slipping from our fingers altogether. I don't believe Russell Brand is wholly wrong. He is providing a left wing voice challenging the right wing voice of Nigel Farage. He brings attention to issues that need addressing albeit sometimes in a way that doesn't have its desired results for example the banker who missed out on his lunch. But we do need people like Russell Brand engaging in issues which need support but I do wish he wouldn't tell people not to vote. 

Voting engagement has been slowly creeping down for years and we certainly don't need it having any more encouragement. I would go as far as saying that whoever you want to vote for, just vote because then the voice of the people will be heard. Votes do not lie and ultimately this country needs to be run by the people for the good of the people.

Happy Near Year and the resolutions that follow...

It is the 1st January 2015. I saw in new year with my husband, my father and his partner and my step-brother. It was a lovely evening full of board games, song and drink.

Ultimately Facebook feeds became full with either people making new year resolutions or deciding that they are not going to bother because they'd just break them by 3rd January anyway. Resolutions tend to include exercise more, eat better, quit smoking and drinking less. Valid resolutions but largely they'll be forgotten in a week once everyone has been back at work for their first week and they need a drink and a takeaway to forget the pain. 

I have never gotten on the resolutions bandwagon I admit. I am quite cynical and never took that jump. However this year I am going to make a few which are as follows:

Firstly I want to read more. I have been lucky enough to be bought several books this Christmas to add to my already large "to read" pile. The problem that I have with reading is that I absolutely adore it. But after studying part time for X amount of hours and being at work all day I just want to switch off in front of the TV. There are alot of dramas that keep me entertained on an evening. I would like to resolve to switch off the telly at least two evenings a week and to actually sit and read. Preferably with classical music playing in the background.

My next resolution is that I want to write more. This falls into the same issue as resolution one. After being at work and university, I don't want to look at another screen. One day I would like my writing whether it be academic or fiction to be my work so I need to start honing my craft otherwise that will always be a pipe dream.

Third resolution is to exercise more. Time is not my friend most days but I do need to be active for health reasons. Exercise is good for the mind and keeps a balanced life style.

And finally, I seek to love myself a little more. I am not someone who spends alot of time on my appearance. When I am working I bring myself up to an acceptable standard but other than my six week hair appointment and make up, I spend no money on my appearance. This is fine. But I work in an office where most of the other women there take more time on themselves and look lovely. I have become very critical of myself because of this because I am comparing myself to my colleagues.

This needs to stop. I am not them. They are not me. We are all our own people and beautiful in all of our own rights. I spend more money on books and DVDs than I do clothes. I can't read or watch clothes so they bore me. Of course I am going to be different from my colleagues in this respect. 

Women can have this weakness of judging themselves too harshly and compare themselves to others and find themselves wanting. I am a healthy weight for my height. This is what matters, not that I don't fit into a size eight anymore or don't have long, slender legs. We should learn to love ourselves for who we are and our uniqueness. We are no longer the child in the playground who doesn't have the coolest coat. We are adults in an office where we are get along and like eachother as friends as well as colleagues. There is no bullying. Therefore I and any other woman out there who thinks the same, should embrace who we are and own it. 

These are my new year's resolutions. Happy New Year to one and all. I hope 2015 is a great one.

Best Wishes

xox